002: Charis Melina Brown – Overcoming Fear and Living in Alignment

In Episode 2 of the Maker/Mistaker Podcast, I have an eye opening discussion with Charis Melina Brown. I came across her YouTube channel after searching for information on Starseeds.

Who is Charis? She’s an example of someone who is living in alignment with her true soul expression. She’s vibrant and in love with life. Charis currently lives in Sedona, AZ and has written a few books and teaches classes and workshops from living your purpose to awakening your DNA. She always seems to inspire me and help me realize that my struggles don’t have to be such a big deal. Her attitude is always so positive and upbeat.

Charis Melina Brown

She calls herself a modern day practitioner of Magic. She’s one of the smartest, most knowledgeable people I know on the subject of spirituality, non-physical energies, aliens and ETs, the nature of reality, dreams, etc. Her excitement for these topics is contagious. You can tell she LIVES this stuff.

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Giving Myself Permission to Sleep In

My morning routine became such a part of my life I feared sliding back to my “old” self, or worse — back into depression.

Last week I announced I was writing a new book about waking up early, yet the past few months I’ve struggled to maintain enthusiasm for my own morning routine. The routine I started and have been pursuing for over a year now has seen its highs and lows. It became such a part of my life that the idea of sleeping in felt like I was sliding back into the “old” me. And my biggest fear, sliding back into depression.

When I announced my new book, I had high hopes of getting up early and writing. But no sooner I make the announcement, my body decides to revolt and all it wants to do is sleep in. I would get up in the morning and do a few things and before you know it, I was asleep on the couch with a book by my side that’s only two pages further than the last time.

I felt bad.

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End of an Era: A Kind Farewell to Go Media and WMC Fest

It’s surreal that I am writing this post, but today I’m publicly announcing that after nine years, I am leaving Go Media. This also means I am stepping down from Weapons of Mass Creation, the event that I founded in 2010. It is with a tender heart that I leave behind my dream job and my pride and joy.

This post originally appeared on the Go Media blog here. I felt like I should repost it here on my personal blog.

Before I get into more details, let me assure you that Go Media and WMC are going on without me. I will talk about the future of both towards the end of my post. For now, let me tell you why I’m leaving.

Why?

It’s not for a higher salary or big opportunity at a new company. It’s not because I don’t like Go Media or WMC. It’s not because I’m joining the circus…

The truth is, I’ve come to terms with a persistent feeling that a chapter of my life is ending. There’s a deep sense that my work here is done. That this particular mission has been accomplished and it’s time to move on.

I’ve resisted this feeling for over a year and a half and tried to suppress it. I felt guilty for feeling this way and tried to work through it thinking it was just temporary. I didn’t want to listen to this feeling because that meant quitting or giving up. That scared me to death.

I didn’t want to let it go.

jeff_gomedia_breaking2

WMC was my baby!  How could I leave something that has been so amazing? Who would want to leave such a good thing? By leaving, does that automatically mean it was bad? I mean, what would everyone think if the founder left? My mind was cluttered with worst-case thoughts of disaster and turmoil. But the truth is WMC is a lot bigger than just one person. And the past few years showed me that people around me are eager to step up and help out.

But quitting is hard for me. I would stick it out through the best and worst of times. I was loyal ’til the end. Quitting was for quitters I thought.

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Fear and Resistance: Gym Edition

The other day I went to the gym for the first time in 3 years. I hate to admit it, but I have resistance and fear of going to the gym.  Probably because I don’t like to be seen struggling or looking weak. The day I decided to go to the gym I woke up and felt the following which are classic signs of fear and resistance.

  • I was too cold, I wanted to stay in bed and be comfy
  • I was too tired, only 6 hours of sleep (not terrible), but maybe I’ll just start tomorrow
  • I was afraid of being around other people in the gym, what if it was crowded?
  • What if I see someone I know? I’ll be embarrassed because I don’t know what I’m doing yet.
  • What if I look dumb lifting weights? I’m such a nerd.
  • Maybe I’ll just run around my neighborhood instead.
  • Maybe I’ll just do some yoga at my house instead.
  • Maybe I’ll spend $2,000 on a treadmill and run at home.

higher self

I had to stop thinking. I just laced up my shoes and drove to the gym. I paid for my annual membership and went straight to the treadmill. It actually wasn’t crowded at all at 7am. Once I started running, I felt comfortable. But then I wanted to do weights, and I felt the fear again, the resistance. So I walked over and grabbed some weights (there was another guy there, so I felt like he was looking at me). I just started doing my thing. Once I owned it, I felt comfortable. Then I wanted to do situps on the mat, I felt fear like people are going to see me. But I went over and did it anyway.

I could do this today because there was a larger force at work – my higher self and his encouragement. MY encouragement and inner sense of knowing THIS is who I am. I’m just allowing myself to be WHO I ALREADY AM. And getting out of my own way. I have a vision of my higher self and that is my potential. My higher self is already fit and healthy, and confident, and funny, and intelligent. The more I follow my joy and passions and personal development, the more like him I become.

I’m getting the feeling that what I see in my mind as my personal guidance, the attitude and “energy” that I sense, is really ME at my highest potential. It only speaks to me in kind and loving ways and is never condescending or negative. And that’s who I am. This is where it gets deep. My higher self is using THIS incarnation in physical reality to experience itself, and I’m realizing my full potential. My full potential is beyond my imaginations. The intelligence, the wisdom, the talents, the abilities, the humor, the wit, etc.

There have been moments where I felt like my higher self was merging with my physical self, and I could feel his energy, I felt like I could do anything! When I feel doubtful or scared, I can ask for that merging of energy and feel it. And going to the gym is an opportunity to allow my true self to express itself in physical reality.

So again, I wanted to go to the gym to finally work on my body, my physical body – not just mind and spirit. And I had fear/resistance. But an inner guidance telling me to do it. I trusted it and moved past the fear and as a result I grew a little bit today. Oh yeah, I also ran for 15 minutes on a treadmill and did a bunch of reps with dumbbells but that’s just a side effect!

Saying No and Setting Boundaries Without Being Mean

I’ve always had a hard time saying no. When someone needs something and they ask me, I’m happy to help. Sometimes I don’t really want to, but I just need to suck it up and do it. Even if I’m overworked. Someone else is in need and things would run smoother if I just helped them out. It’s the right thing to do. If I say no, then I’m lazy, selfish, and uncooperative.

Saying yes has been the default answer for years. Sometimes I really want to say no. Like when I’m asked for just one small thing and it’s a lot easier for me to say yes than to actually say no and explain why. It creates a ton of inner conflict in me.

Why do I say yes when I mean no?

I’m so used to saying yes, that I feel like I can be quite a pushover. I don’t want to make someone else mad or unhappy by refusing to help them out. This is a dominant characteristic of nice guy syndrome I’ve learned. I’ll say “sure,” and then figure out a way to do it. After all, my feelings are my feelings, I’ll deal with them on my own and try to come to terms with this new obligation.

Side note, we talk about acting out of obligation in the first episode of the Maker/Mistaker Podcast. My guest Gigi says it’s the most awkward way to do something for another. 

Saying Yes When You Mean No

Last week I realized I’m continually tested to say no. I said yes to something I really wanted to say no to. I even battled it out in my head and just decided to say yes against my better judgment. I was pissed at myself! I was trying to avoid conflict and avoid having to explain why I was “being a dick” by saying no. I didn’t want the extra stress, so I just did it anyway. Ugh!

Again, nice guys like me think that by saying no they are jerks. It’s not that black and white.

Why is it so hard to say no?

I came across this article on Tiny Buddha that talked about listening to your intuition. I could relate a lot with the idea of having to get up  and go for a walk because I didn’t know how to respond to an email. I was angry that I was once again going against what I wanted to please another person.

I’ve learned that it’s because I just don’t have good boundaries.

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001: Gigi Young – Finding your Purpose, Consciousness, Starseeds, and ETs

This is the very first episode of the Maker/Mistaker Podcast! In this episode I talk with Gigi Young, a psychic intuitive that teaches and mentors others through a spiritual and cosmic perspective.

I initially found her on YouTube talking about consciousness, spirituality, and extra terrestrials. The way she communicated esoteric ideas resonated nicely with where I’m at in my path and I hired her for an intuitive coaching session a few weeks back. In that session she used her connections to her spirit guides to help me see my life’s circumstances and struggles in a new light. She helped me gain clarity on my sense of purpose and provided a welcome perspective that fit with my newly expanded view of reality.

In this inaugural podcast episode, Gigi and I dive deep into mind-blowing and esoteric subject matter. We cover a lot of ground about finding and living your purpose, consciousness, spirituality, metaphysical subjects, starseeds, and ETs.

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I’ve been waking up early for a year. Here’s how my life has changed.

Update: Due to the popularity of this post, I have decided to write an entire book about morning routines. Follow the link to get notified of its release.

The habit of getting up early has been the most life changing thing I have ever done. A little over a year ago, I wrote this post about how to build a killer morning routine. Today, I’m still getting up several hours before I have to and I want to reveal how I did it and what happened to me.

How to Get Up Early

All I had to do was build a habit of waking early and then I’d figure out what to do after that. My trick was to watch a new episode of some addictive TV series first thing in the morning while I sipped my coffee. That usually worked to get my ass out of bed!

woke up early for a year

Once my grogginess wore off and I became more awake, I sprinkled in some positive habits that I found in the book The Miracle Morning. This was Silence (meditation), Affirmations, Visualizations, Exercise, Reading, and Scribing (journaling).

I used Lift app to keep track of my habits and keep me motivated.

A few other habits I experimented with were lucid dreaming practice, pushups, planks, pull-ups, going for a walk, yoga, spending time in nature, breakdance practice, practicing piano, write blog post, drink more water, eat vegetarian, sleep by midnight, make music, log expenses, cold shower, dance, say no to one thing, delegate at least one task, random act of kindness, organize for ten minutes, declutter, get rid of one thing, listen to audiobook, listen to podcast, no caffeine, no sweets, no social media, etc.

The Problems I Faced

Some habits stuck and others I never seemed to do. I noticed I tend to fall much easier into habits of journaling, reading, and meditating every morning because those were pretty easy. I actively enjoy all those.

I sucked at exercise habits. I’d rather go out for a walk than hit the gym. I did do mild yoga and occasionally lift some weights, but that was never a big part of my routine. Denial habits like “no caffeine” were really hard to do as well.

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41 Signs You Are Sleepwalking Through Life

Sleepwalking through life means you are going about your day unconsciously. Meaning you’re in zombie mode and you mistake it for how life is supposed to be. You’re not aware of who you are or how you fit into the big picture of life. You don’t know what your purpose is. You’re likely just reacting to life instead of creating the life you want.

beingalive

You may have had moments of realization and awakening, but found yourself lost in the daily grind. Here are signs you are sleepwalking through life. At the end of this list I will share with you some tips on how to wake up and stay awake.

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The Way of the Superior Man – Beyond Porn-Influenced Sex

I’ve been obsessed with the teachings of David Deida lately. He’s the author of The Way of the Superior Man. I’ve heard a lot about the divine masculine and the suppression of which that men have experience in our generation. But this guy gets it and expresses what I have believe in my heart but never had the words or confidence to describe.

Basically in previous generations, the concept of the ideal man has been all spine and no heart. The macho man. Nowadays, lots of men are all heart and no spine. The nice guy syndrome. Men overcompensate by acting like assholes because that’s what they think women want. They’ve got it all wrong and this is why.

Once you get past the hilarious 90s fashions, this video is gold. Sometimes cringeworthy, but that’s why it’s great.

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Letting Go of What Other People Think

Today I was listening to the Seanwes podcast and they were talking about how to stop caring what other people think. It’s a great conversation, but I want to add my take on it here. This is a subject that I’ve been interested in for a while and I have heard all sorts of good advice over the years. Common advice would sound like, “Haters gonna hate.” or “Don’t take it personally.” or “It says more about them than you.” Or “just ignore the negative feedback and focus on the positive.”

While those made sense rationally and would work at first, I had a hard time sticking with it. Mentally I’d be telling myself not to care, but I’d still find that physically I would feel pain inside. I would be depressed all day, even though I KNOW that what they said wasn’t personal.

Why doesn’t this work?

Are you like me, sometimes focusing on that one negative comment in a sea of praise? How come the advice I was given didn’t work? It is because it’s all mental and not dealing with the root emotional cause. Which is often feeling that you’re not good enough. A feeling you’ve had since childhood.

If this happens to you, you are looking outside yourself for validation. Even if you know you’re not supposed to, it’s been such a habit of yours for years that you don’t even realize you do it. This feeling of unworthiness comes from childhood. As a child, if you behaved a certain way you were good and if you behaved another way you were bad. This process of domestication instills a habit of suppressing who we so we can please authority figures.

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